I'm in your Khala reconnectingz.
And for those of you who speak English, English, I'm sort of back from the back of beyond. While I haven't been totally gone (I do like to check out what everyone has been up to here) I've definitely been spending a lot less time frequenting the places I used to.
That seems set to change as I change up a few things in my life.
This year, to put it plainly, has been awful. I've not been this messed up in a very, very long time and it's not a place I ever wanted to visit again. But what's done is done. The only thing I could liken it to is feeling like some crazed scientist has taken every emotional facet of me apart, done weird and wonderful crazy experiments to them and stuck me back together again backwards. I've been torn, at my wits end one second, and laughing as if it were nothing the next.
I'm an introvert at the best of times (stay out of my head, you wouldn't like the soundtrack!), but I completely felt withdrawn, I couldn't deal with how I was feeling, much less deal with people asking me how I felt and what I was going to do. There aren't many people I consider close friends, but I'm very grateful to those who took the time to try and ask me those things back then, I know you were trying to help, I just wasn't emotionally capable of dealing with stuff at the time. But know I really DO appreciate it, even if it appeared like all I wanted to do was wallow for a while. Truth is, I was still in shock.
I realize that when crap like that happens it would be easy to be drawn into a downward spiral of spending every night in the bar drinking myself into a deranged stupor that would make James 'Jimmy' Raynor look like a lightweight, but I was determined not to let that happen, so I decided I needed a distraction and that distraction has been the source of a bit of humour from people who know me and are now in the belief I'm now training myself up so I can survive the zombie apocalypse.
Or at least out-swim the zombies!
Yesterday, for instance, I swam a mile non stop, yay for me. A feat me and my weedy gangly arms couldn't have achieved six months ago!
I've also discovered I can hold my breath for a ridiculously long time. This comes in handy when someone smelly sits down next to you on the bus.
But that's not the only thing I have been doing whilst wandering out in the dark void of voidyness, no. I'm in talks with someone about doing an art/music collaboration with someone, along with a few little commissions along the way.
I've completely changed out my commission structure, so now there's no way people can fleece me and make me work for free, yay!
I reopened my etsy shop and stocked it with a few novelty items, including 'Bookiees' my Nom Bunny Star Wars equivelant. Check those out, I'll try and post pics soon, but my camera is a pile of soggy pants, so expect graininess. In a few days time I'm off to go check out new places to live along with applying for a bunch of new jobs too. This is as close to normal as I have felt since November last year, I've got a little way to go yet, I know, but I've also come a long way too.
So enough of this great wall'o'text, I just needed to get that off my chest and say "Oh hai guise, I know it's been like months and stuff but your assassin-ninja-sharks failed."
Also, I'm now 99% sure the fact I work in the dark has affected my ageing process. I found a picture of me when I was 22 and the only thing that's changed is my haircut, haircolour and the tiny scar above my right eyebrow I got when I was 25. SWEET!
Approaching 32 doesn't seem so bad now